Improving Communication for the Introverted Engineer
Let me start with this short story:
I was talking to a close friend of mine last weekend, and I told her that I think I’m an extroverted introvert. I said that because I think I have both traits. Usually, that depends on what I’ve had for lunch, my mood at the specific time, or who I’m around; I could be really reserved or talkative. And guess what she said? “No, Susan, you’re an introverted introvert.” I was like “Come on!”
Introverts vs Extroverts
Many of us listening to this can attest to the fact that many engineers are introverted. They want to go into the office, get their work done, say two or three statements to one or two people (if necessary), and then go home quietly. It’s quite disappointing that a lot of introverts have been stereotyped as being shy, anti-social, nerdy and kind of creepy. In reality, this is not always the case.
The major thing that differentiates introverts from extroverts is that while extroverts are outgoing, outspoken, “fun to be with”, and gain energy from social interactions, introverts conserve energy when they are around people, so they are quieter, more reserved and literally gain energy when they spend time alone. Because it’s unnatural for introverts to share how they are feeling, or their thoughts on a subject in public spaces (especially if not asked), there tend to be situations where introverted engineers don’t find it exactly easy to contribute verbally on their team. For instance, in team meetings and other public gatherings, they are more likely to go do their work and let the work speak for itself, than talk about it. And that right there is the focus of this post.
The importance of different personalities in teams
First of all, I’d like to say that I believe diversity in personalities brings a good balance to any team. Imagine if everyone was an extrovert or if everyone was an introvert. We would all have the same personality or think the same way. I bet it would be really boring. A wise man once said, “If two people always have the same thoughts on everything, one of them is unnecessary.” I think we are all unique individuals, and we should be able to embrace what makes us distinctive, as well as the value our distinctions brings to any team.
There are certain times however when not being able to communicate effectively could be a drawback to your career growth. In the field of software engineering, a huge part of what we do involves communication, clarifying technical requirements, presenting technical solutions, justifying why an approach is better than the other, convincing the team on how taking a decision will make an impact on the business, giving and receiving feedback, and even doing code reviews. These all require a decent level of communication. I hate to bring this up, but there is an unspoken need to prove confidence in our craft, particularly for women, who are the minority in the tech space. And in a lot of cases, this shows through how you communicate your ideas, thoughts, and solutions.
While it is important to have interpersonal skills, enough to interact with different people, I don’t think you need to be the life of the party or the loudest voice in the room if that’s not your personality. Extroverted people can do this effortlessly without overthinking it. But if you try to do this as an introverted person, you might end up cracking the wrong joke and hear crickets sounds in the room or behave in a way that comes across as fake.
The main focus of this post is how to improve communication as an introverted engineer. And you can probably tell that this is not limited to just communication for an introverted engineer — it is also a place for every kind of engineer, whether introverted or not.
How to communicate more effectively
Communication is a two-way street, so while you are the speaker in some cases, you get to be the listener in other cases. Here are a few tips to be better at doing both:
- Listening
The first thing you want to take note of is listening actively. When listening, you want to show interest through your body language, eye contact, and you want to do things like paraphrasing something that has been said to you to indicate that you are engaged in the conversation. You don’t want to come off as distracted because you can’t stop thinking about the ice cream you left in the fridge. You want to try not to interrupt, and also, don’t just listen to respond. Actually, listen and be empathetic; try to understand the speaker’s perspective — that would help you communicate better. - Adding structure
Do you recall how we wrote essays in high school? There was always an introduction, a body and a conclusion. This is done to add context to the message and it helps whoever is reading your essay to understand what you’re trying to communicate. The same applies to verbal communication. When speaking, you want to try to structure what you’re saying in a way that anybody listening can flow and get the value of the message. - Public speaking
A lot of people might not want to subscribe to this, but don’t shy away from public speaking. It’s funny that I’m now saying this out loud because I used to be that person who had no liking for anything related to speaking publicly, but in the long run, I realized how helpful it is. Note that public speaking doesn’t necessarily have to be speaking at technical conferences or giving tech talks. It could just be a product demo at work. Things like this contribute to public speaking. Most introverts tend to shy away from such things because it brings them out of their comfort zone. One reason people don’t contribute during meetings, besides being introverted, is that they lack confidence in what they know. What public speaking would help to do is boost your confidence as you definitely have to do tons of research and be sure to a certain degree about what you’re presenting. Public speaking also makes you a better communicator, because you’re “forced” to think about things like structure, and how your message is received. - Be visible
Try not to be the invisible man or woman in the room. This is also something I am constantly working on improving. I believe it is about understanding that your contributions are valuable and deserve to be shared. Sometimes we feel, “Oh, it’s really not a good idea.” Or “This person will probably say what I’m about to say.” Then they go ahead and say it. But speaking up helps you articulate your thoughts, as well as help you build confidence. One of the things that also helps is to bear in mind that what you have to say or contribute isn’t about you, but for the improvement of the business, product, or your team. Also, it is okay to ask for some time to properly think through something that you’re being asked about or your opinion on something. By doing that, you’re able to take out time to come up with a well-thought-out idea or solution, instead of just spilling out a half-baked one during a conversation. - Know your audience
It’s important to keep in mind who your audience is and tailor your communication to suit them. There’s a tendency for engineers to get stuck in too many details, instead of giving high-level information. Sometimes you get so lost in the trees without getting to share the forest. One reason that happens is that it’s a comfortable area for us as engineers, and so we can talk about it for as long as possible. Another reason is really just for bragging rights which is understandable, given how much effort you have put into the subject in question. But you need to realize that sharing that much information might only be valuable to you, and no one else in the room. For example, you want to talk about how you improve the performance of an application, and you go like “We’re having reduced engagement as a result of how long it was taking for our app to load. After employing some measures to reduce the app size, such as removing some plugins and optimizing the images, we were able to improve the page load speed by 68%.” Here, you can see that I’ve indicated a problem, given a little detail about the technical solution and its impact on the product. So it’s important to know how to condense information to the bottom line. If you’re an engineer talking to folks in management or non-technical people within the team about a new feature that you’ve just added, there’s really no need to go dwelling on so much technical information. On the other hand, while communicating with an engineer, there’s a level of depth you might need to go into.
So you can be introverted, and still be able to communicate decently and effectively when the need arises. It definitely will take you out of your comfort zone, but consistently doing it eventually becomes effortless.
And that is it! As a recap, we have covered what differentiates an introverted and an extroverted person, how your personality unites and adds a great dynamic to the team, why it’s important to build interpersonal skills as an engineer and how to improve your communication skills. I hope you learned a thing or two. Do well to share with people who would find it helpful.
